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ghoulardii:

struggling. _{hurting. he’s been crying all evening, locked himself in the bathroom. clumps of skin– flesh– lay on the floor, blood staining tile. parts of his arms, thighs, shoulders, are missing. cuts, cuts all over his body. claw marks. incisions. self - inflicted, wounds that mean so much. why’d he have to be saved ?}

“ RUDI RUDI RUDI. ” _{soft pale skin does little to muffle the banging of stone knuckles against the bathroom door. he can hear the ghoul crying ( has been crying for quite some time ) though he didn’t know why, had just come over to see if rudi wanted to go to the woods with him. “ ah c’mon rudi open up and come play. it’s nice outside! “}

ghoulardii:

he watches him, <sub>wonders how he could fuck this up. quite honestly the boy does well, rudi’s impressed. he’s not exactly a professional himself, he just knows how it’s done. michael’s initial reaction to the drug is funny to him; he laughs, entertained. probably a bad idea to give this hyper - active child something that will only double that. 

then again it’s not a good idea for rudi to have it, either. gets reckless. “ yous did it good ! we’ll do more in a sec, just— tell me how yous feelin’. good, ain’t it ? like it ? feel that energy ? “</sub>

_{THE ENERGY was incredible, the most alive he’d ever felt. it was as if his body had been shocked to life, felt like he could run and run and run !! head nods at rudi, eyes are REALLY DARK now, wide and BLACK. he wants to stand up, wants to move so he does. hand reaches out for rudi too, devilish grin in place. “ c’mon lets go DO something. you gotta bring the coke though, don’t forget that. “ not sure what he wants to do exactly, just knows he doesnt want to SIT.} 

_Gay

_{my hate for u is everlasting}

_{kick his fuckboy ass}

_{excellent advice}

ghoulardii:

rather than scold him, <sub>rudiger laughs. it’s equally as loud as the other’s voice, goofy smile stretches along his face, slanted. signature. rudi puts his finger in his mouth, sucks on it, ignores the bitter taste of the coke. “ a’ight. “ ghoul taps out a nice line for michael on the table, fingers reach for his twenty, rolls it up tight. hands it to the boy, he moves out of the way. 

“ lean over, close one nostril, n’ then sniff it up. the whole thing. n’ then yous gotta let yer head sit back n’ keep sniffin’ till yer sure yous got it. “</sub>

_{he lifts a sleeve pulled over long digits to rub against his tongue, wants to SPIT but avoids doing so. some got down, not much - not enough to make a noticeable difference. he’s glad rudi isn’t MAD AT HIM, wonders if it’s the coke he can thank for that.}

_{following the ghoul’s instructions he leans forward, lifting one finger to pinch his left nostril closed. with his other hand he places the tip of the twenty in his nose, body hunching to poke the corner of the line with the end of the twenty. he pauses nervously though doesn’t ask anymore questions, simply BRACES HIMSELF.}

_{squeezing his eyes shut he inhales quickly, moving the twenty sloppily along the line. the burn is almost immediate, a stinging pain above the roof of his mouth but he wants to get it all, wants to fell how rudi does. trying one more time he finishes snorting the rest, drops the twenty onto the table and throws himself back into the couch. for the first time michael is SPEECHLESS, just sits there with eyes shut tight, tears welling at the corners from the burn. he can feel it drip to the back of his throat, DOESN’T LIKE IT and clammy palms grip the couch cushion underneath him with blunt nails digging into the fabric.} 

_{he sits silently for a moment, eyes shut and body rigid. after a few moments however the burn begins to subside, clenched palms loosending from the couch cushion and soon he doesn’t feel anything. tongue touches the roof of his mouth and his gums feel numb, lets it glide across his teeth and those feel weird too. COLD, his teeth feel cold. there’s an odd taste in his mouth, an indescribable taste, it’s then that he’s hit with the high, a euphoric feeling that sends him sitting upright, pupils blown. he looks at rudiger and laughs, LOUDLY, falling back into the couch with a grin. HE’D NEVER FELT ANYTHING LIKE IT.}

_{“ you’re good at that. you did that so good! you just snorted it right up. like a pro COKE SNORTER! did you see me snort it? you gotta show me how to do it better. we can try again right? you really are a pro coke snorter. “}

ghoulardii:

he pulls the baggy out once more, _{shakes it before the boy. “ can, i guess, “ but it’s not that good that way, he wants to say. convince him to snort it up, feel a wicked good high with him. opens the baggy, long finger inserted between lips, wets it, then sticks it in the bag. gathers a good coating on his digit, now offering it to michael. “ open up. “}

_{the option of EATING IT sounded much better, smile lifts on his features at the option and he pulls his legs up on the couch to sit cross legged. scooting closer to rudi he opens his mouth, tongue sticking out as far as it will go with his eyes closed tight. his head moves forward, swiping wet tongue over rudi’s thumb. he had planned to SUCK ON IT, however the overwhelmingly bitter taste he was hit with made him recoil in disgust, leaving some on rudi’s finger and he doesn’t want to swallow. voice is loud, upset. “ YOU NEVER TOLD ME IT WOULD TASTE LIKE SHIT! i wanna sniff it i change my mind! ”}

ghoulardii:

give him a moment, _{he’s making sure he has it all. sniffles a few times, has to resist the urge to cough. sits back on the couch, back of his throat numb, sinuses feeling strange. eyes glance to michael, no longer irritated by his presence. feels rejuvenated. “ i’m feelin’ good. nah, ain’t hurt— c’mon, try it. i’ll get’cha all set up. “}

_{the sudden warmness from the other seeps straight into michael’s skin and radiates in his eyes, EATS THAT SHIT UP. he may be used to rudiger’s typical coldness, but even if he were offended all it would take is a soft lilt or kind tone to have him crawling back.}

_{PLEASE HIM PLEASE HIM his mind yells, always doing what he’s told. especially if it means rudiger will be his FRIEND. sitting forward in his seat he nods an agreement and complies, not sure what to do first. “ how much do i gotta use? can’t i just EAT IT? ” the idea of putting something in his nose is bizarre to him, doesn’t even like when DUST gets up there and it makes him tickle.} 

ghoulardii:

“ suit yerself. “ _{barely acknowledges the boy now, form hunched forward. puts the twenty to his nose, one finger on a nostril & he snorts up the line. rudiger sits up, brows furrowed, head tossed back. he sniffles a few times, exhales harshly through parted lips. “ shit— “} 

_{eyes wince as the powdery substance is inhaled into rudiger’s nostril, tilts his head with wild curiosity. he’d never seen anything like it !! didn’t even think anything was supposed to go up there. questions form quickly, eyes delighted. “ didn’t that hurt? how d’you feel? feelin all jacked up yet? ”}

ghoulardii:

he looks at the other with mild frustration. _{nothing but a huge grump these days. the baggy is opened, rudi taps a line’s worth out onto a piece of paper sitting on the table. closes it up, reaches into his pocket for a twenty. “ ain’t no junkie, dickwad. “ he rolls the twenty. “ —- wanna try ? “}

_{by now he’s used to the slurs and names, figures this is part of rudi’s demeanor. hadn’t ever KNOWN a rudi that didn’t have a sharp edge, isn’t aware he was any other way.}

_{curiosity gets the best of him, floating over in one fluid motion to survey the powder laid out onto the table in a line. “ you’re gonna do it right now? ” didn’t think now was a good time for DRUGS, thought druggies did them at night - not in broad daylight. he’s unsure about the offer, knew very well what it was though hadn’t ever DONE IT before. he wants to decline though his tendency to be a PEOPLE PLEASER gets in the way of immediate refusal. “ you do it first. i wanna see YOU get all jacked up. n’then i’ll think about it. “}

ghoulardii:

“ not like i need to hide ‘em. “ _{has no reason to put them away. all guests are free to use whatever he has available; it’s all up for grabs. lucifer brings him free product, rudi tries it. sells it. ghoul snatches it from the gargoyle’s fingers, itching for a line. “ it’s fer me to get fucked up. “} 

_{doesn’t put up a fight once the coke has left his grasp, hand drops to his side and he watches rudiger with interest. “ don’t tell me you’re one’a those fucked up coke-zombies. ” voice is loud, an unusually high volume that is typical of michael. he’s always yelling something, never whispers and always loud. can’t be soft, hard voice like hard bones. “ you don’t NEED it do you? i bet you do, bet you’re fried. bet you couldn’t go ONE DAY without it. ”}